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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (6645)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

#7041342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29521) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by 20 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6383) - you deserved it (89290)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22992) - you deserved it (9085)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17939) - you deserved it (4356)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

#6933166
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - love - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9154) - you deserved it (28582)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

#6861005
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (5153)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4067) - you deserved it (48805)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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