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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19960) - you deserved it (4375)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (1555)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16696) - you deserved it (1970)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (36812)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

#6036735
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (27341)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by ohsnap (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (5141)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (2067)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a dead puppy in my backyard. I have never owned any pets. FML

#5966909
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (1497)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by WhyMe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying on a dress, my sister came up behind me and poked my back, asking, “What have you stuck down your dress?” I hadn’t put anything down the back of my dress; it was just my back fat. FML

#5953785
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (8502)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

#5947119
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10899) - you deserved it (24609)

On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

#5946410
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (10154)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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