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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41136) - you deserved it (3229)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41655) - you deserved it (7877)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (134933)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

#15747927
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (4029)

On 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by drunkluv - Australia

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (7633)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41954) - you deserved it (9640)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (3415)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

#15635520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (2953)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by BrisbaneCoop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (27245)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (3064)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (3122)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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