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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (2978)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (6090)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (30402)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6842) - you deserved it (34557)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (3367)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (2760)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (8104)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

#7140982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:50am - misc - by Michael (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26164) - you deserved it (6640)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (2925)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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