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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (2324)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (2160)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44715) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (6930)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (17254)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (5434)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (5219)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (4988)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)



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