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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (12301)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

#21358494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (3733)

On 02/18/2015 at 7:35am - work - by lonergirl - Australia

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

#21357201
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34152) - you deserved it (2795)

On 02/16/2015 at 7:57am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (3873)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (3551)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (2887)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (2661)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (4098)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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