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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (7317)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (39190)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

#21062237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (17801)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (5646)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (7786)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60099) - you deserved it (4452)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you deserved it (7516)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43554) - you deserved it (6763)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

#21041659
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (3958)

On 01/27/2014 at 9:40am - animals - by mac - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46883) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)



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