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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

#11636469
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (2720)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

#11629383
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17725) - you deserved it (42655)

On 07/03/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

#11584447
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (16369)

On 07/01/2010 at 8:11am - intimacy - by jane smith - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

#11422420
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (4609)

On 06/24/2010 at 6:09am - love - by facebook (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

#11374719
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (5425)

On 06/22/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by angry - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

#11261528
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/17/2010 at 8:42am - love - by hopelesss88 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

#11099858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3369)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:54am - misc - by Unwanted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

#11097404
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (6781)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49590) - you deserved it (17492)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

#10981673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40128) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that he only found big girls attractive, that's why he could "never cheat on me with my friends." FML

#10881510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (6275)

On 05/31/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

#10881401
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10796) - you deserved it (31310)

On 05/31/2010 at 7:59am - misc - by frgn8r (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (8950)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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