Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (2087)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3702)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (7317)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (9199)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

#8082566
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (3902)

On 02/10/2010 at 6:47am - love - by kstaa - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (1873)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (5387)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (2410)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: