Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

#8993133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (3929)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (20215)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you deserved it (5161)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

#8862366
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6213) - you deserved it (35057)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (5404)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the man who sold me my car 6 months ago lied about it being "recently serviced" and "in excellent condition". It actually hasn't been serviced in years, and fixing all its problems is going to cost me $900 more than what I paid for the car. FML

#8820381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (25158)

On 03/04/2010 at 9:09am - money - by rippedoff (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20161) - you deserved it (1636)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (3476)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (3709)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (5611)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: