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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27696) - you deserved it (3328)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (7420)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

#12959581
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (3299)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - money - by schoolkiddo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15966) - you deserved it (20232)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12578) - you deserved it (49863)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (5704)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (30034)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (6627)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53294) - you deserved it (4168)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2251)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (4013)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

#12834464
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44222) - you deserved it (2497)

On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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