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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

#11097404
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (6707)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (17431)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

#10981673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (3708)

On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that he only found big girls attractive, that's why he could "never cheat on me with my friends." FML

#10881510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (6271)

On 05/31/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

#10881401
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10785) - you deserved it (31270)

On 05/31/2010 at 7:59am - misc - by frgn8r (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (8946)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (13032)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

#10817967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8538) - you deserved it (22485)

On 05/28/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by gahdamnit - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (2877)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

#10719065
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (3322)

On 05/23/2010 at 8:22pm - misc - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (25853)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

#10664484
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (19628)

On 05/21/2010 at 6:11am - misc - by CARnage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (3071)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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