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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (2900)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10543) - you deserved it (33168)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (4501)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37521) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

#17818802
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14076) - you deserved it (34145)

On 09/24/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by deee21 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (32578)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (8774)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

#17757588
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6747) - you deserved it (58073)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (2251)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML

#17703171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11162) - you deserved it (20678)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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