Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (17769)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (3756)
On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (6984)
On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (1623)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (27668)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by 0ptimu5 (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9890) - you deserved it (26071)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5089) - you deserved it (23579)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (14638)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (3777)
On 09/08/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Chaznuts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (24297)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after going to the bathroom, I saw what I thought was a hidden camera in the air vent. Freaking out, I called the cops as I thought someone was spying on me. When they got to my house they burst out laughing - it was a mini air freshener. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5465) - you deserved it (30767)
On 09/05/2009 at 12:18am - money - by 1800_idontcare (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (2782)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (4070)
On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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