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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (7592)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

#13139636
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (4705)

On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9550) - you deserved it (27354)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (3757)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (2879)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37356) - you deserved it (12214)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (4342)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (3325)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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