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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33524) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

#12679955
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45971) - you deserved it (5760)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (3555)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

#12622132
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (4369)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

#12622107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (31099)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

#12619171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (12287)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45350) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

#12450514
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (2492)

On 08/11/2010 at 8:01am - work - by stuck (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (9382)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

#12173397
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (3701)

On 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm - health - by dimtsis (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

#12114157
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (11481)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:03am - love - by beeee - Australia

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

#11945611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (4767)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:51pm - work - by barman - Australia (Western Australia)



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