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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (3034)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my friends help me put on a suit of full plate armor for a medieval re-enactment. After the battle, my friends left. I can't get the armor off by myself and will probably have to sleep in it. FML

#15136190
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (9132)

On 02/27/2011 at 5:10am - misc - by hurley (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

#15112625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

#15110567
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (4291)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

#15087030
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/23/2011 at 2:10am - work - by ellie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (3371)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33684) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

#15048798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6384) - you deserved it (41850)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (4578)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

#15013334
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (5300)

On 02/17/2011 at 6:12am - health - by stillchubby (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (4754)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (4450)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (19754)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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