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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7242) - you deserved it (26904)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14154) - you deserved it (23876)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (9974)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

#13509015
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (15299)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (3054)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (7899)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

#13495933
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/18/2010 at 5:06am - love - by louise. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

#13495592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (36160)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (2837)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (2635)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5608) - you deserved it (27231)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (18362)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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