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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15912) - you deserved it (20175)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12217) - you deserved it (49091)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (5694)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (29270)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21560) - you deserved it (6493)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52134) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (2249)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

#12834464
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42984) - you deserved it (2418)

On 08/31/2010 at 3:54am - misc - by missyoudad. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (3808)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

#12706855
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16873) - you deserved it (47841)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by Ahook1 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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