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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (27183)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (18348)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32334) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (5046)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I missed my history exam because they'd changed the day. Apparently they sent out an email to let everyone know. Too bad I'd banned myself from the internet in order to study for the exam. FML

#13314602
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29059) - you deserved it (8704)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

#13302610
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:59am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (4490)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63591) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

#13285189
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29906) - you deserved it (5202)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by rawr101 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

#13261887
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (30420)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:07am - work - by T. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (5713)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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