FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

by nycol / 02/17/2012 at 9:13am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

by Tay / 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

by mypoolisstilldirty / 02/16/2012 at 11:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

by FuckLife / 02/11/2012 at 8:41am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

by jam / 02/11/2012 at 2:03am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

by thatgirl34 / 02/09/2012 at 6:29am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was willing to sit behind a truck doing 10km/h just to hear an interview with Robbie Williams on the radio. FML

by nickern / 02/07/2012 at 7:13pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

by Madzison / 02/06/2012 at 5:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

by KDM / 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

by mattttbob / 02/04/2012 at 5:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy