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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46486) - you deserved it (18087)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (6372)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 15 year old daughter got kicked out of her cheerleading squad because she was overweight. I heard one of the cheerleaders say, "She must be overweight because her mom is." FML

#15792635
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (12730)

On 04/15/2011 at 5:30am - misc - by fatty:( - Australia

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (2941)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (7680)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11445) - you deserved it (129031)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

#15747927
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (3823)

On 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by drunkluv - Australia

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (7428)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (9261)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (3153)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

#15635520
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2718)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by BrisbaneCoop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (24773)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (2911)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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