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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

#13736205
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (4965)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

#13729555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (3618)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

#13723810
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (2688)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

#13686426
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (31936)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:44am - misc - by hannibal - Australia

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

#13684302
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:50am - love - by stillyoung (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

#13673860
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63922) - you deserved it (9096)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (5791)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

#13624123
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55249) - you deserved it (4388)

On 10/28/2010 at 5:26am - love - by monogamous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (14208)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (5108)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

#13586647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8954) - you deserved it (28931)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (5320)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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