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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

#21315500
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3083)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Soverytired (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37495) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML

#21312891
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by he wasn't even playing - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (9146)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

#21307421
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2699)

On 11/28/2014 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (2102)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (2943)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (3450)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (7141)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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