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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28356) - you deserved it (5888)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (17250)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (7328)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

#18895827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12444) - you deserved it (25409)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (2188)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (4307)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (3687)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (5262)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

#18833422
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16952) - you deserved it (26330)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

#18822842
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (7263)

On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)



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