FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

by BoomHeadshot / 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 4:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

by jack / 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

by Beth / 04/13/2012 at 10:12am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

by Spudzy / 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

by Girl-with-the-glasses / 04/11/2012 at 3:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 10:39am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

by tay / 04/10/2012 at 7:13am / Australia / Animals