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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59367) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

#17060608
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (4108)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (6990)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

#17008164
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (3316)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - love - by independence (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

#16999068
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/06/2011 at 10:52am - misc - by siighh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53587) - you deserved it (16770)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

#16997408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (10563)

On 07/06/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by Emily - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

#16984113
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (7152)

On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (9845)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (4890)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

#16871264
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (4783)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:14pm - money - by Mad - Australia (Western Australia)



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