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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

#13686426
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (31851)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:44am - misc - by hannibal - Australia

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

#13684302
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (3848)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:50am - love - by stillyoung (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

#13673860
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62797) - you deserved it (8978)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (5711)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

#13624123
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54372) - you deserved it (4319)

On 10/28/2010 at 5:26am - love - by monogamous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (14125)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (5105)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

#13586647
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (28858)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (5280)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (11960)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (8542)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (26800)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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