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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27910) - you deserved it (8166)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10044) - you deserved it (31973)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (4340)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

#17818802
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13078) - you deserved it (32144)

On 09/24/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by deee21 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14166) - you deserved it (31362)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39136) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (8526)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

#17757588
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (1719)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5667) - you deserved it (53337)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML



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