FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

by bman / 04/07/2012 at 2:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 9:53am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

by jasonnn / 03/30/2012 at 1:00am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

by LassieToe / 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

by Cass / 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work