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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

#14317962
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (10682)

On 12/24/2010 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, on my way home from a Christmas party, the cab I was in was hit in the side. After making sure everyone was okay, the cab driver informed me that I'd still have to pay the cab fare, which he'd kept running. FML

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML

#14233403
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (9228)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112529) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (2720)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67060) - you deserved it (10337)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

#14081508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (5401)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:03am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46452) - you deserved it (10109)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (7868)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

#14021574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:13am - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (14107)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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