Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (5866)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (9482)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (12266)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

#18314342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (5811)

On 11/22/2011 at 3:08am - health - by daybyday - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13053) - you deserved it (39740)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (7454)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (9279)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59394) - you deserved it (8748)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (11860)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML

#18171616
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32751) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/06/2011 at 3:21am - misc - by jeremiah - Australia

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

#18147280
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by bethany - Australia



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: