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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

#13830674
133 comments

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (3646)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (8549)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47161) - you deserved it (17347)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (2324)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (8154)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (2592)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

#13736205
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (4913)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

#13729555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (3591)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

#13723810
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

#13686426
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (31850)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:44am - misc - by hannibal - Australia



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