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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

#19288691
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (2297)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm - health - by jarv49 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
94 comments

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9841) - you deserved it (39566)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

#19216296
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (30605)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12101) - you deserved it (31359)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (4173)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (4280)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (3145)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (3218)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (4399)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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