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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (5112)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34093) - you deserved it (9242)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (23841)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (21463)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (3269)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40070) - you deserved it (9382)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

#13509015
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (13839)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (7317)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

#13495933
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (4768)

On 10/18/2010 at 5:06am - love - by louise. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

#13495592
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (34655)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia



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