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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7215) - you deserved it (27124)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (4661)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (3113)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (13430)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3538)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (6021)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (36472)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (10313)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

#19305952
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (12331)

On 03/19/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by rahrahcakes (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (14132)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a migraine. I work in an arcade with lots of bright lights, loud noises and screaming children. I was stuck in there for 7 hours. FML

#19299225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (3105)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:06am - work - by Alli.M - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

#19293533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (10030)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)



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