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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (3009)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

#18498054
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (8816)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by myjobsucks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (8202)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (16727)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

#18479529
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11247) - you deserved it (30027)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

#18466440
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (3027)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
101 comments

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

#18410783
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (4135)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (2294)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37985) - you deserved it (5866)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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