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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10686) - you deserved it (124902)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

#15747927
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (3816)

On 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by drunkluv - Australia

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (7213)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (9061)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (3151)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

#15635520
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (2711)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by BrisbaneCoop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (24683)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (2816)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (2903)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (3343)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

#15392908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (10103)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

#15379189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36360) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:25am - animals - by unwanted (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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