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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (36285)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13296) - you deserved it (25127)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (2273)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (4088)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I refused a customer a refund because there was nothing wrong with the item, and she didn't have the packaging. I then watched as she and her son rummaged through a public bin for the packaging. When I refused her again, she called me a "fucking idiot". FML

#17919274
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (6417)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:14am - work - by mando - Australia

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13090) - you deserved it (25477)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (7566)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

#17909983
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3732)

On 10/05/2011 at 6:49am - work - by Matt - Australia (New South Wales)



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