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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML

#16340964
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8940) - you deserved it (35575)

On 05/25/2011 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (3947)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

#16128165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9767) - you deserved it (38670)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41920) - you deserved it (6906)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

#16041844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11841) - you deserved it (29881)

On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

#15870372
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (11797)

On 04/21/2011 at 5:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (2968)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
735 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (7078)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (5347)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45015) - you deserved it (17730)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (6359)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 15 year old daughter got kicked out of her cheerleading squad because she was overweight. I heard one of the cheerleaders say, "She must be overweight because her mom is." FML

#15792635
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (12635)

On 04/15/2011 at 5:30am - misc - by fatty:( - Australia



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