Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (3427)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93260) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (48246)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

#19415450
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (27432)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

#19405276
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/04/2012 at 3:51am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

#19400366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (4072)

On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2714)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (2217)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: