Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (2856)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18484) - you deserved it (4850)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (7929)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (2751)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (2648)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (3712)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML

#14507132
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (34755)

On 01/08/2011 at 10:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML

#14494919
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/07/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by carrottop - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (11907)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML

#14430007
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (5572)

On 01/01/2011 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22397) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

#14406610
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (4678)

On 12/31/2010 at 6:11am - love - by ohemmgeee (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

#14391012
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (6747)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: