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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

#15013334
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/17/2011 at 6:12am - health - by stillchubby (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (4655)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37681) - you deserved it (4423)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (19049)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (4825)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

#14932841
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (23388)

On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

#14906275
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (40693)

On 02/09/2011 at 5:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

#14904173
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (5821)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11974) - you deserved it (28428)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

#14879534
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9663) - you deserved it (39494)

On 02/07/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

#14878575
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (5622)

On 02/07/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by oxbonxo (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

#14851025
54 comments

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (6380)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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