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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

#19514086
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2158)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by jack - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30428) - you deserved it (2219)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (6889)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

#19449584
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8853) - you deserved it (42466)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (2700)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML

#19442358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13606) - you deserved it (18929)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (3390)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML



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