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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (27317)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

#16725685
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36253) - you deserved it (4502)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

#16705159
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (2599)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:50am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

#16704546
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (29085)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:16am - work - by illiterate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3009)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12362) - you deserved it (54235)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

#16543597
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (4340)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:10am - money - by Username - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (6107)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

#16430117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (5200)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by loner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (10619)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)



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