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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (34443)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2028)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

#17868500
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2555)

On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (8003)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (2737)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (29633)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (4303)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

#17818802
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13045) - you deserved it (32066)

On 09/24/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by deee21 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (30107)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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