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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

#18078526
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43350) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (13813)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (2569)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

#18022095
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (6115)

On 10/19/2011 at 8:19am - love - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (2901)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

#18001464
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (52636)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47pm - health - by kp - Australia

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35081) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (36258)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)



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