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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

#18990200
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (33806)

On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

#18982881
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10790) - you deserved it (47402)

On 02/03/2012 at 7:48am - misc - by Jodie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (4072)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20571) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21591) - you deserved it (5831)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (5787)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (17010)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (7139)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

#18895827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12023) - you deserved it (24764)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (6886)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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