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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (4868)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

#18833422
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (25075)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

#18822842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (6986)

On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (2080)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (3505)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after 2 days of not showering. FML

#18783531
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7893) - you deserved it (37582)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2248)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14293) - you deserved it (34008)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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