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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (25434)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (7556)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

#17909983
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (3721)

On 10/05/2011 at 6:49am - work - by Matt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (34421)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

#17868500
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (3404)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (7997)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (29613)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (4150)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia



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