Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (3008)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (53513)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

#16543597
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:10am - money - by Username - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (6100)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (3108)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

#16430117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (5178)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by loner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (10606)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (2762)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML

#16340964
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (35535)

On 05/25/2011 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (3854)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

#16128165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9747) - you deserved it (38621)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (6904)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: