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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be funny to photobomb a photo. In doing so, I slipped over and snapped my arm in. I may now have to get surgery. The good thing is I made a hell of a photobomb. FML

#21464873
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (9604)

On 09/05/2015 at 1:36pm - health - by the poor man - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

#21464662
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (7748)

On 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (1560)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21267) - you deserved it (1696)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (1759)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (5470)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

#21453738
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (1548)

On 08/09/2015 at 2:27am - misc - by jordan.marie97 - Australia

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

#21453135
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm - health - by blow me (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML

#21453063
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31605) - you deserved it (2130)

On 08/07/2015 at 7:24am - misc - by ruserious (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

#21452951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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