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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

#21479542
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (1669)

On 10/13/2015 at 12:55pm - health - by Shibs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

#21478533
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12092) - you deserved it (41966)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

#21476743
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (1517)

On 10/06/2015 at 7:13am - health - by Lord Kane of Flatulon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

#21475264
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (1953)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I got detention from my teacher for not handing an assignment in. It would be understandable if I hadn't handed it in a week before it was due. She won't listen to reason. FML

#21473226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (1709)

On 09/27/2015 at 8:21am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I tried taking a shortcut through a nature trail, hoping to save myself some time getting back to my car. I ended up getting lost for nearly 3 hours and getting to work nearly 2 hours late. FML

#21473204
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18998) - you deserved it (11664)

On 09/27/2015 at 5:53am - work - by Me (man) - Australia

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

#21473108
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (5228)

On 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by oops - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after my second date with an otherwise charming guy, he called me a whore for turning him down for sex. Yeah, I'm trying to work out the logic of that too. FML

#21472744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (1677)

On 09/25/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML

#21470038
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (7988)

On 09/18/2015 at 9:56pm - work - by Joshua Sheldon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

#21468528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (17989)

On 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by C BOMB (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (4502)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML

#21467432
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - Australia



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