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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, despite having my 5-day-leave approved 2 months ago, my boss demanded I return to work in the middle of it. Why? She wants to go on a vacation and no one else is available at such short notice. FML

#21489333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (1467)

On 11/06/2015 at 6:59pm - work - by FMyJob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML

#21488641
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/05/2015 at 1:52am - love - by Queerbait (woman) - Australia

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

#21487775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (1840)

On 11/03/2015 at 6:42am - work - by LadyLou (woman) - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

#21486828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/01/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by lacsmac2 - Australia

Today, I was coming home from work and saw an old couple overwhelmed by the number of people at the train station. It was peak hour and I decided to help them. As I went up to them, they said, "Get away, go mug someone else". FML

#21485487
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (1551)

On 10/28/2015 at 3:29pm - misc - by qwerki4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

#21485280
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/28/2015 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

#21481906
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (1420)

On 10/19/2015 at 6:13pm - work - by Chefinblack (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

#21481744
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/19/2015 at 7:10am - animals - by bluebelle - Australia

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (1606)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

#21481003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/17/2015 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

#21480670
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (7399)

On 10/16/2015 at 4:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

#21479741
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2788)

On 10/13/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by iwantaraise - Australia

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

#21479542
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (1669)

On 10/13/2015 at 12:55pm - health - by Shibs - Australia (New South Wales)



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