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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

#21188956
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (4095)

On 06/26/2014 at 7:35am - love - by WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

#21185267
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (4187)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52460) - you deserved it (4579)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44607) - you deserved it (6536)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (4462)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (4609)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (17918)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (13030)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

#21164912
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53591) - you deserved it (7862)

On 06/06/2014 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML



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