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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (4016)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (35626)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (1948)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27916) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (3583)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (1815)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32606) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45539) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31715) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

#20478634
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27786) - you deserved it (1895)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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