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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (1761)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (4809)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (2077)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (2579)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (2305)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (5283)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (5441)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (44390)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia



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