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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15832) - you deserved it (4460)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12508) - you deserved it (4008)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1428)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

#19843298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (1616)

On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (4966)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (1157)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

#19816432
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (3361)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by meeks123 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (3867)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8081) - you deserved it (20794)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

#19781202
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22599) - you deserved it (3006)

On 06/13/2012 at 8:47am - money - by fuzzle003 (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (17829)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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