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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

#21508922
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (1178)

On 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm - work - by peachass - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

#21507994
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/26/2015 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

#21507419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

#21506788
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/23/2015 at 2:45am - money - by JunkDex (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

#21505447
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (1691)

On 12/19/2015 at 9:30am - animals - by shibs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

#21505056
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (6713)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:33am - misc - by Zyopy (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

#21504961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24691) - you deserved it (1483)

On 12/17/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

#21504401
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (1992)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:28am - kids - by anon (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (5454)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

#21503235
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (1719)

On 12/13/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by noodlesandmilk (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

#21503215
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/13/2015 at 6:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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