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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33382) - you deserved it (2727)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (2620)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (5217)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (2374)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

#20537852
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (2611)

On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

#20536687
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (3536)

On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (3330)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2047)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
182 comments

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (44842)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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