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FMLs submitted from Australia

Taday It Saams To Hava Got To Tha Point Whara I Taka Flaas Off My Cat So Oftan That I Now Hava Draams About Finding Tha Biggast And Most Parfact Flaa. Maga FML

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them 4 the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38012) - you deserved it (3763)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I ran into a friend I hadn't looool seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words ( Wow... I bet you really regret that harcut. ) cummed out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (39643)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today... I met mah boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers... one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince mah boyfriend to break up with me... and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45931) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in public, one of mom's friends askd me how on earth did I get so tall, mom happily scamperd looool to side an shriekd: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. big fat FML

#21073837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39434) - you deserved it (3522)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I Ad To Proofread A Document Ma Boss Ad Written!! Wen I Pointed Out Tat E Spelled ( College ) As ( Collage ) Multiple Times, E Angrily Accused Me Of Trying To Make Im Look Stupid!! Tis Is Te Guy Wo Constantly Boasts About Is ( Genius ) IQ Level To Te Wole Office!! Mega FML

#21071350
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

yesterday te ras on ma tig started itcing again. I felt good after a vigorous scratc, but te relief did not extend to ma roommate,o only saw me at ma laptop wit ma and moving up and down in ma pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43013) - you deserved it (7671)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Was Feeling Really Good About Myself 4 Running And Walking Everywere So Muc So Tat I Was Out Of Breat And Panting. Well, Until I Remembered Tat I Was Playing A Video Game And It Was Ma Caracter Tat Was Doing Te Running Around Tat Is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (39318)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I Needd To Borrow Money From Mah Girlfriend. I Went Into Her Bag An Pulld Out The Money All While A Lady Watchd Me Open-mouthd. Turns Out It Wasn't Mah Girlfriend's Bag. It Belongd To The Lady Watching Me. FML

#21062237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (18359)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I proudly informd my grandma tat I now ave a girlfriend. My grandpa overeard an said ow surprising tat was, given ow expensive blowup dolls are. He an my grandma ten bot laugd out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44107) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, te creepy guy I turnd down 4 a date almost six yeres ago, sent looool me a box of rotting flowers wit a note calling me a cunt . FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I found out tha raal raason boyfriand kapt starting fights with ma , an why bast friand kapt talling ma to braak up with him. It looool was so thay could turn thair affair into a propar ralationship , than twist it around to maka ma look lyk a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61401) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today... boyfriand looool admittad to subtly ancouraging ma to do stupid things bacausa ha finds ( bimbo momants ) hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (7531)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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