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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (5584)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (3163)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54801) - you deserved it (4954)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51133) - you deserved it (2708)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (5205)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (5875)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43559) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (2779)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (42754)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML

#20953603
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/11/2013 at 3:18am - work - by ShakenNotStirred - Australia (Queensland)



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