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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (4260)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45572) - you deserved it (5151)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (6201)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54586) - you deserved it (3313)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41084) - you deserved it (4624)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38743) - you deserved it (4357)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (5906)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (51605)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51907) - you deserved it (7211)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49937) - you deserved it (5756)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61619) - you deserved it (7225)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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