Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

TODAY , MAH VIBRATOR WAS IN ANOTHER ROOM AND I WAS TOO LAZY TO GET IT. I WAS ALSO TOO LAZY TO DO IT MANUALLY. IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO MYSELF FOR TOO LONG. FML

2day as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a grl from his class to say goodbye . His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh . FML

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to putted her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for !! FML

#21193510
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42561) - you deserved it (7260)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I Tried To Be Seductive To Get Intimate With Mah Boyfriend!! He Commented On How Sexy I Looked, And How Badly He Wanted Me, Then Asked Me To Move Because I Was Blocking The TV, And The World Cup Match He Was Watching!!

#21192852
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (15410)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... after nerely three weeks of hard work... I finally completed my best drawing yet... a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is... until I came home from a walk later on... only to fine my brother had drawn a stick figure on it... wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42353) - you deserved it (3880)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today , I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle!! The last piece didn't fit!! FML

#21191359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (6162)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I got a call from a friend asking y I didn't tell him looool I was engaged. I'm not... but I wish I was. Rumours about mah life seem to be better than the reality. FML

#21188956
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (4325)

On 06/26/2014 at 7:35am - love - by WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

a guy at work pulld me aside to tell me tat I probably souldn't be working a job were I ave to interact wit customers , cuz of ma autism. I don't ave autism. FML

#21185267
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (4203)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entre bookshelf, an my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53759) - you deserved it (4686)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. big fat FML

#21183245
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (6551)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today I was confiding in my dad over the phone after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up an went online I noticd he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook an commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48194) - you deserved it (4601)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , at mah mother's open-casket funeral , mah sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body , she coughed , muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared , an she went on her way , noticeably not choked up at all. FML

#21173556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (4061)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, artwork that I had been working on 4 months was destroyd, leaving me almost in teres. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room an shat all over it.

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: