Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13974) - you deserved it (6694)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15432) - you deserved it (2272)
On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (1228)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (7507)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (2392)
On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (1230)
On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15915) - you deserved it (799)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31730) - you deserved it (273)
On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3152)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16224) - you deserved it (2449)
On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (8109)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14943) - you deserved it (1166)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia
Monday 17 June 2013
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