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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38320) - you deserved it (3448)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (3112)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (9366)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (4414)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (5982)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (4143)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (6663)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (21257)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (2169)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (2761)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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