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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (42642)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML

#20953603
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/11/2013 at 3:18am - work - by ShakenNotStirred - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44765) - you deserved it (4647)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (4203)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (32745)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52176) - you deserved it (9192)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (19286)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (4259)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)



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