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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16257) - you deserved it (1230)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you deserved it (798)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (272)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

#20187584
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (8098)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (967)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (3711)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14862) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (2766)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7758) - you deserved it (16629)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (3241)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (876)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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