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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

#1678
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (11259)

On 01/18/2009 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by gjh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (7733)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

#1485
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22823) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm - love - by C2 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

#1459
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5530) - you deserved it (35018)

On 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm - health - by zaneey - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought a pair of new speakers for my comp. I forgot I had installed various volume enhancing programs and also maxed out all sound settings. I connected the new speakers and played some music. The sound destroyed them. FML

#1167
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6703) - you deserved it (25564)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:02pm - money - by p!$$3D0FF - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

#803
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by KiloLima01 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18982) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

#540
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16572) - you deserved it (2216)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:43pm - work - by No name - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

#421
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (1985)

On 11/30/2008 at 10:25pm - love - by English - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML

#247
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (22704)

On 11/07/2008 at 4:02pm - money - by choup - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

#14
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (68602)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia



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