FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

by bevo / 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

by Ahook1 / 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

by Sara1990 / 08/23/2010 at 7:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

by car / 08/21/2010 at 1:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

by ktin / 08/19/2010 at 8:02am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 7:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 2:32am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

by bbbblt / 08/15/2010 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

by stuck / 08/11/2010 at 8:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

by hairless / 07/30/2010 at 2:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

by dimtsis / 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

by beeee / 07/26/2010 at 12:03am / Australia / Love