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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (81855)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43402) - you deserved it (23676)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (96657)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML

#280040
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (10240)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (87642)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165736) - you deserved it (10324)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85797) - you deserved it (21399)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (42477)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (2768)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML

#94960
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (59282)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by eejit (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (34805)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (5241)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

#4977
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (2125)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)



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