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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, was my frst day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up an stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the looool commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (4968)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY... I FOUND OUT THAT DESPITE HAVING ATTENDED EVERY UNIVERSITY PARTY HELD OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS... THE ONLY PHYSICAL CONTACT I HAVE HAD WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IS WHEN THE SECURITY GUARD STAMPS MY HAND. FML

#5203219
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (7790)

On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at dinner with mah boyfriend and mah family, mah mother had too much to drink and asked mah boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

#5201743
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approachd her an introducd myself she said "Don't u remember me? We dancd here last weekend... but u were smashd that night". I cheekily replid "Oh really? That's hot wat happend next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So I left." FML

#5181151
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (38585)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by 0ptimu5 (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM enterd the room I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. real FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13829) - you deserved it (36252)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

TODAY, AFTER FAILING MY LS TWICE IN THE PREVIOUS WEEKS, I FINALLY PASSED. AS I GOT HOME, I WENT FIR A DRIVE WITH MY DAD. I SMASHED MY MUMS CAR INTO AN OLD LADYS FENCE AND ENDED UP IN HER BACKYARD. FML

#5163445
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (33001)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking wit ma grlfriend, an decidd it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in te rain. As I was swinging er around, I swung er ead against a lamp post. Se broke up wit me. FML

#5123353
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (18929)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a blind double date!! My date was drunk before I got there!! He kept getting mah name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of mah dress!! FML

#5121769
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37874) - you deserved it (4806)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Chaznuts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a party wit my boyfriend. Tere were some tents set up out te back so we decided to go in one. Wen we came out we got wierd looks. It turns out my friend ad turned on some ligts biend te tent, sowing a uge silouette of me giving ead. FML

#5102610
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9136) - you deserved it (30167)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had been working at the checkout fir over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, eye accidentally twitched an looool I gave him a wink, he smiled an winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting fir me, an followed me to car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48034) - you deserved it (3744)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

#4994613
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47377) - you deserved it (9288)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:45am - health - by broken (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I was walking with mah boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles , I promptly walked into a pole , then became single. FML

#4994498
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13886) - you deserved it (64510)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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