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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (11007)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46464) - you deserved it (3468)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

#4803927
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (58215)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13460) - you deserved it (42726)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

#4756987
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8945) - you deserved it (31970)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (11178)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16155) - you deserved it (44074)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML

#4677149
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (40698)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (43631)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8871) - you deserved it (53493)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57541) - you deserved it (3140)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

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