Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (46689)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

#6267510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (2688)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

#6240777
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (57046)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:33am - love - by Uh-oh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (4669)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (47721)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (9178)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (5122)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

#6178277
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (7742)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

#6175316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

#6164199
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3017)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:25am - intimacy - by Cate (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

#6164042
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (2182)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:44am - work - by hatemyjob - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18006) - you deserved it (4784)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: