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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

#2428701
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55104) - you deserved it (19430)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

#2174572
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53365) - you deserved it (23715)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:52am - intimacy - by rice_cake (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60979) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

#2138443
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (7778)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:11am - love - by astraboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54212) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

#2107196
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15507) - you deserved it (47407)

On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

#1958201
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (39943)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

#1925712
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52881) - you deserved it (14773)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39120) - you deserved it (7111)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure my bust to check what size I am in American. I got my measurement, checked what size it would be and the size of my bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML

#1684476
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (8398)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by frankie034 (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63437) - you deserved it (28825)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

#1449103
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43561) - you deserved it (5613)

On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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