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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

#21338906
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (2182)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

#21337587
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37728) - you deserved it (4344)

On 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Can I press charges? (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

#21337468
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2015 at 6:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34925) - you deserved it (2861)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31332) - you deserved it (3509)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (7154)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (3446)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

#21331513
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (5284)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (9603)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia



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