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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (1830)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (1642)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (32951)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (3777)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (2476)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26881) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (7882)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22) - you deserved it (3203)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (5412)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (7087)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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