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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (1798)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (1935)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (3107)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (1902)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

#21428771
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (8143)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (4032)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3372)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (1772)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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