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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3952) - you deserved it (457)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17491) - you deserved it (1133)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

#21519024
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm - work - by thrill house - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

#21518460
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (1390)

On 01/23/2016 at 4:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

#21518044
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (7405)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:47am - animals - by swag papi - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

#21516844
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (1719)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:47am - misc - by heckaza - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

#21516509
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (1939)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:50am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

#21516384
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (1364)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm - kids - by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (12933)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

#21514912
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (1335)

On 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm - animals - by TooFlamingHot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

#21514651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (1674)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:06am - work - by midnightblade163 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

#21514228
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (5015)

On 01/12/2016 at 5:48am - animals - by mutantprincess - Australia



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