Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (1435)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

#21321887
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12206) - you deserved it (2649)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:45am - misc - by Stupid - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (5617)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (7937)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (4124)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (4984)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (2258)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: