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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5855) - you deserved it (472)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (2028)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (3072)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (2908)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29782) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (7054)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (2318)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (3206)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (8505)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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