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Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16174) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (1160)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (1614)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (24797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

#19858220
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (1618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18060) - you deserved it (1995) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6305) - you deserved it (28063)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (47534)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -



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