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Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (1259)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (1619)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (1319)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (1482)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16605) - you deserved it (3857)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (2359)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (2171)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (1846)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -



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