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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (1954) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (5143)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

#19705854
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (3060) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

#19697872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (8086) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/29/2012 at 6:19am - work - by Anonyme (woman) -

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6197) - you deserved it (27503)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (4991)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (44503)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12477) - you deserved it (3752)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14841) - you deserved it (1722) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (2942) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (5381)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (1905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (3153)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -



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