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Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (1765)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

#21459683
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (5420)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Arrkyna (man) -

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

#21459680
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (1649)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML

#21455384
80 comments

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (2312)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (5956)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was involved in a debate. Things got out of control, insults were hurled, and by the end friends were lost. The subject of the debate? Whether snot has enough calories in it to be nutritional. FML

#21454286
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (5805)

On 08/10/2015 at 1:04pm - misc - by imma ture (man) -

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

#21454260
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2078)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:35am - love - by butchapparently (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML

#21451972
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2739)

On 08/04/2015 at 10:33pm - love - by Carowl (woman) -

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (1585)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -



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