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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

#19874685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (2242)

On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

#19874038
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12273) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (1362)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (7212)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (1389)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (1137)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41979) - you deserved it (1590)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (514)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (17520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

#19858220
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22290) - you deserved it (1115) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17535) - you deserved it (1949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (5138)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

#19705854
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (3053) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -



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