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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (6039)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

#14808267
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (5937)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37985) - you deserved it (3811)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20554) - you deserved it (69386)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

#14795725
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (5688)

On 02/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by Username -

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (3940)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (3898)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML

#14791115
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43001) - you deserved it (6114)

On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (5553)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2851)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (14480)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (7646)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35729) - you deserved it (5411)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -



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