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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (5503)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (17980)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

#14114880
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (4827)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:25am - love - by 1fungi -

Today, after years of hard work, I had an interview at the highest ranking university in the world 800 miles from where I live. It snowed heavily for the last 2 days closing every road, railway, and airport causing me to miss the interview. There is no rescheduling. FML

#14110903
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:37pm - work - by hulio88 -

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55474) - you deserved it (9392)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

#14103618
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (2703)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (29415)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62059) - you deserved it (9120)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62306) - you deserved it (4898)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (8914)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13342) - you deserved it (55695)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -



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