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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (12440)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (8887)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38986) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (2958)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (28824)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14131) - you deserved it (49963)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9108) - you deserved it (23452)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (8123)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

#13848931
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (4180)

On 11/15/2010 at 1:48am - misc - by mynameisarmpit (man) -

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17991) - you deserved it (6078)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (2495)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -



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