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Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

#14654282
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12446) - you deserved it (31626)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (25971)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

#14606368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm - misc - by sam -

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (2807)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

#14562835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3018)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:21am - kids - by notapedobear -

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

#14552210
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (3985)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (39116)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -

Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

#14543441
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (1790)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by raiyne -

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -



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