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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (5059)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (2215)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2122)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (3790)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (13026)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I chose a cute tank top and some shorts to wear. Later, I was shopping at Target with my dad when he pointed to a girl in the same isle and said to me, "Don't ever dress like that. It looks cute on her, but you couldn't pull it off." She was wearing shorts and a tank top. FML

#9124871
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Stella Grubner -

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

#8886526
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5395) - you deserved it (20648)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:13am - intimacy - by laydeegaga -

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (1551)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

#7296814
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (2126)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:10am - kids - by mickey1928 -

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34948) - you deserved it (2138)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

#5675476
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:06am - work - by perpetuallyscrewed (man) -

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

#4210609
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (16375)

On 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by smoochie -



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