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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#14726296
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (2625)

On 01/26/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (3404)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

#14712877
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/25/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by bluediva24 -

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

#14708501
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7478) - you deserved it (39438)

On 01/25/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by jroberts -

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (2768)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (4037)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7434) - you deserved it (51908)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you deserved it (4690)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8428) - you deserved it (60753)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35635) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14708) - you deserved it (26805)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

#14654282
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12443) - you deserved it (31622)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Username -



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