FMLs submitted from

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

by ouch / 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm / Animals

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

by dazzla08 / 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm / Health

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

by tannerpaul / 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm / Love

Today, I received yet more mail for my ex-fiancé. We've been broken up for nearly a year and I've told him multiple times to change his address. Getting his mail is a constant reminder that I haven't dated since. FML

by zks / 03/24/2011 at 4:53am / Love

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

by EllieJ / 03/23/2011 at 11:22am / Health

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

by jeanstein / 03/23/2011 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

by awesome / 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm / Animals

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

by Maddie / 03/22/2011 at 11:39am / Health

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

by Unlovedchild / 03/21/2011 at 11:03am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

by lily389 / 03/21/2011 at 1:02am / Health

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

by anon / 03/18/2011 at 8:36am / Love