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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (3645)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

#14114880
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (4811)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:25am - love - by 1fungi -

Today, after years of hard work, I had an interview at the highest ranking university in the world 800 miles from where I live. It snowed heavily for the last 2 days closing every road, railway, and airport causing me to miss the interview. There is no rescheduling. FML

#14110903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:37pm - work - by hulio88 -

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55256) - you deserved it (9358)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

#14103618
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (2573)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11109) - you deserved it (28963)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59593) - you deserved it (8793)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62003) - you deserved it (4879)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (8887)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (2100)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (55435)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (2194)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -



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