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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

#13842142
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by cerealfail -

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

#13842104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (3738)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by sad gf -

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (2317)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (4773)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (5021)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (1709)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (2518)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50318) - you deserved it (10112)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I chose a cute tank top and some shorts to wear. Later, I was shopping at Target with my dad when he pointed to a girl in the same isle and said to me, "Don't ever dress like that. It looks cute on her, but you couldn't pull it off." She was wearing shorts and a tank top. FML

#9124871
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (3122)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Stella Grubner -

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

#8886526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4194) - you deserved it (14635)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:13am - intimacy - by laydeegaga -

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10607) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -



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