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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (3050)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (3044)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (9405)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (6806)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47479) - you deserved it (8742)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (3307)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49473) - you deserved it (5121)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (5754)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42647) - you deserved it (3772)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (11769)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -



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