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Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50271) - you deserved it (6013)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (10501)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (6485)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49122) - you deserved it (9120)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49676) - you deserved it (5762)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

#20971993
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32961) - you deserved it (4867)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm - misc - by squirts -

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (10591)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (2869)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (64786)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53187) - you deserved it (9103)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -



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