Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from

Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML

#21486848
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (1204)

On 11/01/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

#21486358
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (2458)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boyfriend called me to ask if I knew the serial number for my laptop. I had given him my $650 gaming laptop to sell in his electronics store because I didn't need it and could use the money. Apparently it was stolen at some point yesterday and his cameras were turned off. FML

#21485551
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (1773)

On 10/28/2015 at 6:16pm - money - by broke4life -

Today, I called a doctor's office for a referral. I was in public, so when she asked me what type of issue I had, I mumbled that I had a vaginal issue. After painstakingly having to repeat this several times, she said she was asking what kind of insurance I have. FML

#21485084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/27/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Jess -

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML

#21484898
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (4366)

On 10/27/2015 at 1:49am - money - by SwingingChili -

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

#21484437
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (5462)

On 10/26/2015 at 12:42am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

#21482513
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (1618)

On 10/21/2015 at 7:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "there's no such thing as bacteria in food". FML

#21482383
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (1503)

On 10/20/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by seriously_CAT -

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

#21480933
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by scorned ex -

Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML

#21480577
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by dramaqueen15 -

Today, I realized that my two year old likes to help with the groceries. And by help I mean hide a bag of chicken. It's been two weeks since I went grocery shopping and I still can't find it, but it smells like something died in my house. FML

#21478454
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/10/2015 at 11:37pm - kids - by KillingMeSlowly (woman) -

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

#21477917
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (2341)

On 10/09/2015 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

#21477704
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Traveler (man) -



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: